Meet Carol Grever

  • Carol Grever has been a successful businesswoman and English professor. From personal experience, she's authored two books and produced a documentary on straight spouse recovery. A recognized spokesperson on straight spouse issues, she's appeared on major network TV shows, including "The Oprah Winfrey Show" and "Good Morning America." You can read more about Carol here.

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September 15, 2013


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As always, I find your observations and insights shared most helpful, Carol. I wish such things had been available when I learned (after 29 years of marriage) that I was a straight spouse! Believe me, I didn't even know that term back then.

I believe that knowing (in everything) that we cannot change others --- it is up to us to change ourselves -- helps me gain a better perspective. And I continue to think that when "I" change, it does somewhat "change others" because I am not acting / reacting in the same way. Thus, the dynamic changes.

I was also touched by your comments to a gentleman who wrote on your blog about men being "overlooked" as being straight spouses. So true...... but there is hope and help for men, too. They just need to ask!

When I turned my master's thesis into an autobiography, I posted in the back of the book the (anonymous)survey I did about straight spouses who answered my questions. I "finally" found 14 men and 36 women who kindly took time to answer all my survey questions. A four minute interview I did on a local TV station can now be seen on You Tube..... type in -- Healing from a Gay/Straight Broken Marriage. My book is now an e-reader, too "Silent Sagas: Unsung Sorrows -- Heterosexual Wife, Homosexual Husband. Found on Nook and in Amazon. I have been so touched by comments from others who found such to be inspirational.

My suggestion to men and women is -- do not give up! You are not alone. Reach out and ask for help. It's there and we do become whole persons again (maybe even better than before)!

I especially like the tip that feelings are transient. I tend to dismiss my emotions because I don't want to deal with them, but just taking that 90 seconds to acknowledge them can make a big difference in whether or not I feel depressed.

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  • Carol Grever's books and documentary DVD inform and empower straight spouses and their families.  Click on any cover image to learn more.

    Award Winning
    Documentary DVD

Radio Interview