Straight Spouse Connection

AIDS Still a Lurking Threat

  The 17th International AIDS Conference in Mexico City this month offered both hope and concern about this fearsome malady.  Because Straight Spouses are at particular risk for this and other sexually transmitted diseases, it is especially urgent that we be informed and cautious.  Since the first clearly identified AIDS cases appeared in the United States in 1981, it has become pandemic and an estimated 33 million people across the world now live with HIV.
    Despite the fact that the global rate of new incidences of HIV infection has decreased each year since 1998, the number of new cases in the United States has risen from 40,000 to 56,300 annually.  The Centers for Disease Control reports that the number of new cases in the U.S. has increased by a quarter million since 1998. 
    Why is this happening?  Public health experts claim that prevention programs are having a positive impact, yet there are disturbing facts to the contrary.  HIV infections through homosexual sex, which hit a low point in the 1990s, are now increasing. 
    People of color are apparently at particular risk, as Hispanics have a rate of infection that's three times higher than whites. Black men acquire the infection at a rate seven times higher than whites and black women make up nearly 40 percent of new infections.  Many of these are unsuspecting straight married women!  Cultural and social pressures like the "down-low" phenomenon and resistance to contraceptives and condoms make preventive efforts even more problematic.
    The message is clear.  Whether we are male or female, single or married, black or white, Asian or Hispanic--no matter what our race or cultural background--it is each person's responsibility to be informed about HIV /AIDS prevention.  We each must take responsibility for our own health. 
    There is hope and there is good news on this serious subject.  Effective combination antiretroviral treatments have allowed people with AIDS to live longer and with greater quality of life.  Though it is incurable, AIDS is no longer the immediate death sentence of previous decades. 
    But no matter how effective the treatment becomes, prevention is always better.  Stay informed!  Protect yourself! 

Watching Our Language

    When I wrote a publicity description for One Gay, One Straight: Complicated Marriages, my documentary showing straight spouses telling their own stories, I inadvertently included a phrase that some found offensive.  I called the DVD "The first documentary revealing the pain and confusion of marriages mired in the secrecy of a homosexual closet." 
    At the first screening, one psychologist in the audience took issue with that use of homosexual.  While I had used the term only to include both gay men and lesbians in mixed-orientation marriages, she pointed out that my usage was dated and offensive. She indicated that homosexual now is relegated to medical contexts.  That was news to me!
    Language is a living thing, changing constantly, and connotations around socially sensitive subjects are especially ephemeral.  That's why I was relieved to discover on the Internet a current stylebook on LGBT terminology by the National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association, a Washington based writers' organization.  It clarified the woman's criticism of my documentary publicity piece and revealed other fine and useful nuances. 
    The stylebook's clear definitions would be valuable to anyone interested in this subject.  For example, I learned that the term transvestite, one who wears clothing associated with the opposite sex, is now considered "crude and old-fashioned."  The preferred term today is cross-dresser and is differentiated from transgender.  Relevant to current news, a clear distinction was also made among civil union, commitment ceremony, domestic partnership, and same-sex marriage.  Even the decades-old designation GLBT (acronym for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) has been supplanted by LGBT.  Ladies first? 
    I believe that these changing linguistic distinctions are important to more than writers and speakers in this field.  If we hope to reach out to each other, across the divides that exist between LGBT and straight, we need to be informed about these sensitivities.  Words wound and cause more distance between social factions when they are used with ignorance or malice.  Mutual acceptance begins with clear communication, unencumbered by negative connotation.
    I recommend the NLGJA's excellent stylebook, not only for political correctness, but for the larger goal of mutual understanding.  Visit <http://www.nlgja.org/resources/stylebook_english.html> to learn more.